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Lost-Chances
There's no such thing as a winnable war. It's a lie we don't believe any more.

Age 33, Male

Student

_____

Joined on 6/19/04

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"Are You Okay?"

Posted by Lost-Chances - March 15th, 2009


"Are You Okay?"

The noise rung and sat in the air for a few moments. The voice was familar but the dialogue was not. I moved my desk chair about 150 degrees towards the door. My little brother was there by the gas heater. Quiet. Waiting for a response. What do I say? I've been listening to "Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime" by The Korgis. A band I have never heard of and a song that I remember hearing when I was young. Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind managed to shake that memory from it's slumber. Like other songs like Roxanne by The Police, and another song which I can not remember the name of (I remember that for some reason, it reminded me of a trucker, dragging himself on deeper into the night so he may be home for Christmas, I wasn't too much different in a sense), it arose one of my earliest memories.

Me being in the back of a worn out Ford car, maybe an Escort Estate, with my big brother and younger brother. It was about 3am or 4am. I had a cover over me and the rest. I really was young back then, I must of been younger than 7. That's all I know. My mum and dad were still together. We stopped by a petrol station (that was shut down about two years ago and is currently being transformed into more houses) and my mum got some sweets. Wine gums, that sort in those sort of big packets. Next I remember was looking up at the roof of the car. It was flashing a dark grey to an ugly yellow every so often as it was lit up with street-lights. I was going to Sheffield to see my family just for Christmas. There was no doubt we'd make it really, we left about a week before Christmas and usually got there within 24 hours. It was a 4/5 hour drive, depending on traffic mostly. My dad wanted to travel at 3am to avoid the traffic, which he mostly did. When it comes to being bored, maybe it used to affect me when I went to Sheffield, but not any more. I wasn't really bored when going to Liverpool and that was a 6+ hour journey, 1 or 2 hours at least of which was spent in one train.

Since then, my mum broke up and got remarried to someone who hates kids. I also went through a lot of problems at school. Mostly the social aspect. I still clung onto the bad and lost the good like a faulty backwards digestive system. I don't remember the good times with people who I used to know. Just the times when people have let me down. It is because of this, I have slowly become more and more paranoid. Paranoid in others and paranoid in myself. I also didn't like looking at the future because it looked grim. Society was getting worse and worse, the government was getting worse and worse and everything seems to be going to hell. I could see a repeat of 1984 happening me staring as the one, Winston Smith, as my worse suspicions are conformed and I am confronted.

"We do not destroy the heretic because he resists us: so long as he resists us we never destroy him. We convert him, we capture his inner mind, we reshape him. We burn all evil and all illusion out of him; we bring him over to our side, not in appearance, but genuinely, heart and soul. We make him one of ourselves before we kill him. [...] we make the brain perfect before we blow it out. " - 1984 by George Orwell.

It's seemed like for a good few years as though the government wasn't the carer we thought of them as, the nanny for the millions of young. Rather, the oppressive power. The dictator behind a mask of kindness and democracy. A twisted machine of deceit, lies and betrayal. As we aimlessly vote the same old parties in, convinced to moving the coin to the other side, from heads to tails and vice versa, to help solve the problems. However, it feels as though they're bringing everyone to their knees to help oppression and a level of trust towards the government. The crime, the news, the wars, it feels like war tactics. Yes, it feels like we're marching towards 1984 but not in the way most people think of (like the media).

"If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face- forever." - 1984 by George Orwell.

So I looked at my brother, considering all the things. The very few good things and all the bad things in my broken digestive system.

"Yes, yes I am".


Comments

Wow, you're a great writer.
This all happened in real life, correct?

It's semi-fiction. Some of it is false, some of it is true. Thanks for the compliment though.

Very detailed with a good ending on top of it. I recommend you writing a book. :D

Haha, thank you but I doubt I ever will. I'm considering it though and if a certain project pulls through some-what then it'll be at least big enough to turn into a book.

I am thanks for asking

No need to thank me, thank you for spamming this userpage.