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Lost-Chances
There's no such thing as a winnable war. It's a lie we don't believe any more.

Age 33, Male

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Joined on 6/19/04

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I Will Fix This

Posted by Lost-Chances - April 6th, 2009


A new story for a new monthly competition which I'm, this time, just merely contributing. Any helpful advice would be great. This will likely be deleted after I submit it so my news post about the project I'm doing is the main one. This story will also be featured in the project.

I Will Fix This.

I opened the car door, retrieved a book from the glove compartment and climbed out. I managed to fit the book, as thick as it was, into my jacket pocket and then closed the car door. I walked with a slight pace to the other side of the car. I doubted anyone would see us. It was the middle of April in a harsh fog on the docks of a lake, a tourist attraction gone bad. I could see the disused hut that likely used to house a till where you could buy rides out on the lake. Some rails were rusting away yet the wooden walkway seemed fine. Out on the end, like a long forgotten memory, was a rowing boat.

I opened the door. There, there she was. The love of my life. My darling sweet child. I am so, so sorry. My daughter sat there, her head tilted to a side like she was merely resting with her seat belt on and her hands on her lap. I unbuckled her seatbelt and reached my arms under her back and knees. I slowly slid her out. I managed to push the door closed by backing into it as I cradled her in my arms. Her long brown hair fell down past my hands as though reaching upon the ground, hoping for a final rest. However, I would not allow it. I walked from the car to the cold stone steps that lead either right or left about 5 large steps. I chose right. Heh, I remember when she would always take the opposite route as me for things like this. I'd take the right stairs, she'd take the left stairs. I'd take the left lift, she'd take the right life. It was some-what a tradition that got us in trouble a few times (apparently, people don't like it when you take two separate lifts to the same floor), however, I didn't mind.

The cold dark steps, under my feet, rung hollow as I walked down. A creepy echo was there but I didn't know why as there wasn't any walls for the sound to bounce off. I then walked off the stone and onto the wood. This was even more hollow and each step sounded worn. A creak to show that these planks had probably been here way before me. As though they were in old age, waiting to be put out of their misery. I finally reached the boat. It's oars sat ready to be used. It seemed to be an old boat but newer than the wood. It wasn't much, but it would have to do. I slowly laid her down, my dear Rebecca, in the boat. The boat threatened to tip but luck was on my side today as it didn't back then.

I walked back to the car slowly. I opened the boot and removed a rucksack. I heard two or more bottles clang with each other as I swung it onto my back. I closed the boot and then pressed the lock key twice on my car as I walked away. One for locking, two for alarm. Hopefully, this will be alright. I will fix this mess I made. I promise.

Ever since I married her, she would suck on those cancer sticks. She didn't smoke when I first met her, I, on the other hand, did. I must of smoked half a pack a day. Slowly, I got her into smoking as well. As a way to chill out after traumatic events and so kissing me wouldn't taste so horrid. She only stopped smoking for a while once, and that was while she was pregnant. I quit about two months before Carol became pregnant due to a health scare. Oh my dear Carol...She felt there was no reason to quit. When Rebecca was just fifteen...She, my dear dear Carol...Was diagnosed with lung cancer. I drove her to die. She deteriorated over the next three years. Finally collapsing in hospital with an oxygen mask attached to her face. Her final words...I can't even remember...Rebecca was so heart broken to find out that I could not attend her award ceremony because Carol passed away that day.

For the following six years, I could never get over her. Why should I? I deserve to suffer for making someone slowly kill herself. At first, I considered taking up smoking but couldn't bring myself to. It was just stupid. Then I considered suicide but...Is that what Rebecca wants? Two dead parents, both killed themselves? I spent the next three years depressed, unable to keep a stable job due to my poor state. However, while working as an archivist, I came across a record that mentioned an ancient cult that was rumoured to have brought about rebirths. However, it was cast down by Christians for being barbaric and bringing about things they deemed unnatural. Among things like curses and spells, one of them was the rebirth spell. Thought to bring a soul back into an unused body. I read more and more into the cult, the other spells and the rebirth spell. It required an ancient prayer book, a white liquid, an ancient bible and a dark goblet.

It was hard to track down the items, but it was done. The hardest part was the white liquid which I had to get made by an ancient alchemist. Once I had the items in my possession, all I needed was a body. I had no means of getting a body. However, one night...I just...Lost it. My daughter came home and left her coat over a chair on her way to her room. I checked them to borrow some money. I found a lighter and a packet of cigarettes. Over and over again, I kept replaying Carol breathing in smoke and then out it. Inhale and then exhale of the fucking cigarette...Then her, in her arm chair in the corner of the room, with an oxygen mask, barely breathing. Over and over again, in my head, until I couldn't take it any more.

While Rebecca was sleeping, I slowly brought my pillow over her face and held it down until she stopped moving. The more I felt her struggle, the more I felt her get weaker, the more I wanted just to lift up the pillow but I knew I could not fix it if I did. She would either leave me and cut me from her life or get me arrested. So I held it down, until I couldn't feel any more resistance. I held it down an extra five minutes longer just in case.

I climbed into the boat and begun rowing towards the little island off in the distance. Now and then, I'd look down and see Rebecca. I wished there was a better way, but I couldn't find it. I know Carol will be annoyed about losing her only daughter, but I can't stand another day with her...

"Carol...You looked so...peaceful. Forgive me for waking you but without you, I just cant go on. I can't live without you Carol. This town.... The old gods haven't left this place; and they still grant power to those who acknowledge them. Power to defy even death.

Ahhhh...Carol..."


Comments

Soooo, he's gonna fuck his wife, who is now inhabiting the body of his daughter? What a perv.

Seriously though, it was a very surreal, and compelling story. Very phenomenal.

Sexy twisted shit.

hello

Hello Mr Nobody.

Sucks.

Helpful.

That... Is... AWESOME!!

The spam is fantastic.

Yeah, just swoop in the last minute with an awesome story and claim that prize..... :(

Great Story!

Haha, I can't claim prizes. I'm a judge. I'm just happy getting rated a score and that's it really. Just taking part.

Is it true that you have a gay crush on EGGYS?

Now who told you that?

EVERYONE IN THE STICKAM ROOM!

OH MY!

Well it's false.

you type way too fucking much

You type way too little.

b--but they all said you are

Who started the rumour?

you ofcourse

I didn't say a thing.

You're allllwaaayss going on about how you love eggy's so.

Oh, I'm sure. Must be one of those black-out things.

By the way, side note: Before you submit a story, make sure it's over the minimum word count.

That seems like a very powerful anti-smoking statement. The man in this story seems to be have driven to madness by the loss of a loved one due to it, it works well in my opinion. I'm very impressed with how you handled the transition from the man seeming depressed to insane.

Once again, another brilliant piece from you. Good job.

Thank you a ton. It wasn't really directed to be an anti-smoking statement but rather just someone being torn up slowly feeling guilty for what they'd done. Although I'm shameful to admit that I did steal a lot of ideas from Silent Hill 2 and it's In Water ending.