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Recent Movie Reviews


Batman vs Ducky Batman vs Ducky

Rated 1 / 5 stars

...Why...

Well, let's break this down.

Graphics: Probably the best part. Well drawn generally. You also have the duck-translator which is helpful.

Animation: Well, it works? There's nothing amazing, but there's nothing horrible. There's not really enough animation to judge if it's fantastic or not. The duck thing turns into some manipulation of size and slide changes. As I said, it's functional but not impressive.

Voices: Does the job, it's clear.

Concept: This is when I have to just put my elbow on my desk and rest my forehead on my hand while muttering "...why?". By all means, I usually try to stay open minded that sometimes people appreciate this kind of stuff, that the sense of humour or the plot being portrayed is to the audience liking. However, a "Christian Bale's gruff voice" joke...It's not even a selection of skits, that's the only thing there. The film has been out for at least six months off the top of my head, and this is made. Even worse, the punchline is a duck interrupting with a "he offended yo momma" joke. I can't help but ask: Aren't we beyond "yo momma" jokes? Parodies of it are even becoming worn.

I can't help but feel like Stewart Lee when ranting about Del Boy falling through the bar on Only Fools And Horses. I can't help but mutter "...And this is what you want..." as I see a 3.82 rating and front page. I've seen Newgrounds go through stages of dick-jokes, video-game observational parodies and even some flash movies that consist of absolute nonsense. However, I can usually work out how people can find that funny. This, I honestly can't, not to this point.

Anyway, how to improve? Well, to be blunt, maybe "up" the sense of humour? The movie also seemed a bit on the short side so maybe making it longer would make it better? Maybe make a collection of skits and then release. I think in terms of a movie that was only meant to be a bit of random fun, it did it's job and well done on that. It's not ground-breaking and it's nothing to be surprised at, but for what it is, it's not bad, I just can't help but not get the appeal of the sense of humour. I also think the choice of what to parody is maybe a bit dated. Maybe The Expendables (A.K.A Sylvester Stallone thinks he's Michael Bay) would be a good choice for next time around?

It's more Newgrounds audience that confuses me. What do they want? Do they want squeaky noises? Do they like "yo momma" jokes? Does this kind of thing make you laugh and beg for more? Is this what they want? I'm just confused.


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: Subliminal Cut : : Subliminal Cut :

Rated 0 / 5 stars

Another Neurotically Yours?

Come on, please. It's really the same crap. The same characters, the same content (rants), the same art style, the same animation. Isn't it time just to move on? To try a project out that tests your capabilities and actually has a plot? Really, you're probably one of the most infamous flash artist about not because of your spamming capabilities (or trolling) but rather how you're the only artist who hasn't really improved or tried anything new in three or four, maybe more, years.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not out-right saying "RAH, ILLWILLPRESS IS SHIT" but I'm just saying: Please just move the fuck on and try something new.



Sombre. Sombre.

Rated 4.5 / 5 stars

An Evolution Of Trauma.

You can see where you got influenced by such works of art like Catoblepas and FreakySpaceyLizard but you managed to add some of your own works of art like the joys of baby rape and tasting. Although I find it funny you avoided any signs of penises through-out or any other forms of nudity.

I can only see your work evolving from here to front page material. KEEP GOING LADDY!


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Mechabloby responds:

WOW, YOU CARE!!!

Recent Game Reviews


Elf Story Elf Story

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

While a very pretty game with okay writing, what can not be forgiven is the mechanical nature of the game. The gameplay is pixel hunting, with no real discernible way besides trial and error to work out what to do and if you're doing it wrong.

For instance, while at one part you're meant to click your sword to block, something never mentioned or hinted up to this point, another you're meant to click the arrows to slash them and not block them or another method to deal with it. I was stuck at the archer at the tree for five minutes, as I kept mashing the left mouse button trying to find out what I'm meant to click. Considering the very next scene is "suddenly giant", which then glitched out as I managed to mash the left mouse button until I found out I'm meant to stab it in the eye which rendered my character and the giant unable to do anything. I pixel hunted for another 5 minutes and then decided that if this was not a glitch then it's Limbo Of The Lost level of pixel hunting.

Good luck with future games, I just really think future games need to be more user-friendly.



Fight Me! Fight Me!

Rated 3.5 / 5 stars

Pretty Good.

Currently, I am attempting to complete hard mode for the "super secret sexy prize" and I am failing horribly at it. Damn you for making it so hard. Can't you just tell us what the "super secret sexy prize" is?

Besides that, the game is slightly unorignal due to the large amount of webcam games being released. It is a little annoying you can't block punches and you lose health for "bad punches". But, in general, it is a pretty enjoyable game but sadly only to a certain degree.


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Wonchop responds:

Pfft. Actually, the original game in the series, Hit Me!, was released back in 2004, and was, to my knowledge, one of the first webcam oriented games around, long before games like FPS In Real Life showed their face.
Course, it didn't score that well to start off cos it was short, but the Germans digged it. XD


Pico's School Pico's School

Rated 5 / 5 stars

First Review.

Well done Tom on remaking this game.


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Recent Audio Reviews


Karbon - Luminosity [Reason] Karbon - Luminosity [Reason]

Rated 1 / 5 stars

Dull.

It follows the same beat throughout the whole "song".


Karbon responds:

Next time I submit a song, I shouldn't let you know about it.


P_P Moonlight Sonata Hip Hop P_P Moonlight Sonata Hip Hop

Rated 2 / 5 stars

It's Ok.

Theres nothing special about this. All it is, a simple piano noice which is simular to Moonlight Sonata which a very very simple beat behind it.


Recent Art Reviews


Flower Girl Flower Girl

Rated 2.5 / 5 stars

Anatomy Class?

Besides the obvious clash in art style (realistic for the body, manga for the head which does not work at all), there's some major anatomy problems here. The belly button is way too high up her stomach, her arms appear weirdly drawn (her left arm is crooked in a weird unnatural manner which may be because her elbow is too high up and her right armpit seems to begin about midway at her breast) and her neck looks like it belongs to a man.

Her bra seems oddly drawn, with the bottom of her breast for some reason escaping from the bra (which begs the question, do you know bras work?) with no straps on the side. The angles on the panties are also unrealistically horrible. I really recommend you to take an anatomy class because everything is so twisted. The background somewhat works but feels a bit too simplistic. The colours also make it look like the plants are wilting.

It's not a horrible piece by any means, there are some things that do work, but there's also just so much that could be improved.


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Finale responds:

I don't think I need a whole anatomy class to fix these minor issues, haha, but okay.

Also thanks for this honest critique. I really use this to try to get better, cuz when you work on a piece for hours, such things as flow and odd details can easily escape your tired eye. If you would check out my future works as well that'd be great.