i PROOF READ UR STOREH
There's no such thing as a winnable war. It's a lie we don't believe any more.
Age 33, Male
Student
_____
Joined on 6/19/04
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Comments
WELL FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!
Cool story bro.
Constructive as always.
You've always been as useful as slamming your hand in a drawer to fix a computer fault.
i think i dripped in my pants D:
Pft.
Lost-Wisdom
Very detailed into the character and his movements. A lot of depth to what you're trying to achieve in this story. Though unfinished, it has a lot of potential to be a very good story (well it's already a good story in my opinion).
Hope you get it finished.
(Btw, the added "Drip..." parts between each paragraphs adds something to it, I just can't put my finger on it right now.
Lost-Chances (Updated )
Thanks again for another comment. I'll probably do some more work on it tomorrow. Just waiting to hear of more ways to improve it.